Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
