my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize