You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize