So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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