im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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