he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize