You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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