We won't sleep together?
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
