Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
