I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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