You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
