everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
