she looked like the before picture.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
