Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize