I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
