she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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