That's intense
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
