all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
there was a trapeze. enough said
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
