i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
