Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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