i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
