I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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