The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
