i just google imaged poop.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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