do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
