I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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