nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
