It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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