i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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