In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
