YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
