dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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