I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
