Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
