Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
