Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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