he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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