Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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