rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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