What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
