She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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