No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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