Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
