I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Even my vagina gasped.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
