no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
