Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
