I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
