so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
