you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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