He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize