Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
