only if we run a train.
done.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
