She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
