i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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