quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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