i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
