Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
