I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
