Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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