Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
