Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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