he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
