Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
