Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just puked most of my soul out..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
