they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize